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To piggy-back off of my previous post (which you can read here!), which was all about how I ask mamas what (if any) risk they'd like to take during a session with me, here are some of the mamas' responses to my questionnaire question about bravery. The question is: Is there anything you'd want permission to do during the session that might require bravery? A risk you'd like to take? "Breastfeeding photo and even just being in underwear only for some pics with [the boys]." "Nursing, being confident in my 3rd kid, postpartum, 42 year old skin." "Relax! Let go of my self-consciousness." "I’m an open book. I struggle with body confidence but I believe that I will be able to overlook that in order to capture this time in my life." "I think of this project not only as bonding but as a nod to body positivity, which is something I’m more likely to grant others permission to accept than myself. I want to celebrate this perfect newborn and the body that made it." "I'm a pretty everything on the table gal. But getting my photo taken in general is very hard for me. I do not like photos of myself. Let alone photos of my body. I'm doing this because I know I will cherish these in 15 years. But right now? I don't feel like it." "I, like many, pick every photo of myself apart. I’d like to be able to trust your skills and do what you ask of us." "I’m not breastfeeding and that makes me worry about our intimacy. I’d like to capture that somehow." "To be nude with the baby. Eeek that's a bit scary." "Being partially naked/topless, being comfortable expressing the authentic tenderness for our family in front of you." "I'll think more, but perhaps something that shows my stomach rolls." 
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I send a questionnaire to mamas who are going to do a Bonding Session with me before their sessions. It's not an easy questionnaire. It asks a lot of each mom. You don't have to answer the questions, but I find that the answers often lead me into understanding of a mom before she arrives in the studio, and meaningful conversations during a session. And if you do answer the questions, that means that you've thought deeply about mothering and parenthood -- and maybe even your childhood -- before you've even gotten to the studio. This session isn't just about getting in and getting photos. It's about going deep. Being present. Letting the moments of your motherhood wash over you and letting your love for your child be the overwhelming feeling and presence in the room. Typically, in our busy lives, we don't often allow ourselves much time to just *be* with our babies. The repetition of motherhood, the simplicity and complexity of it all can feel overwhelming -- or worse, underwhelming. One of my favorite questions on the questionnaire, though, isn't a question about your experience of motherhood day to day. It's something one of my favorite photographers taught me to ask a few years back. The question is if you want to be brave or take a risk during your session. And I'll ask you how you want to be brave. Over and over, I've found that asking this question can be like handing someone a key and letting them open their own heart.  Some women have declared that taking off their tops and doing skin to skin is their idea of bravery. Or breastfeeding during a session. Some women have said that they'd like me to photograph their c-section scar. Some have asked me to capture their body "as it really is" -- softer than they'd like, maybe, but still in the vague design of their pregnancy. Still holding on to the birth they went through six months ago, a year ago, or more.  Still, most women tell me that the simple act of coming into my studio, for them, is an act of bravery. And it absolutely is. It's hard to be vulnerable. It's hard to let go of our guards: the clothes we allow to drape over these "embarrassing" parts of our bodies, and the distance we allow to grow between us and our neighbors. Who would want to disassemble the protections we hold so dear? But when we do allow ourselves to be seen, when we let go of our fear of how we might look, and instead look for how we are connected to the ones we love, the results are absolutely stunning. I encourage you to take a risk -- whatever that looks like for you. I encourage you to be seen. And to let yourself see what you look like when you're being totally present, and in love, with your sweet babies.  |
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